Unbidden Utterances


I have noticed a disturbing trend in my life. It is one of those peculiarities that seems to be cropping up more and more as I age. From time to time, words come out of my mouth, unbidden and unrelated to anything. Allow me to provide an example.

Two weeks ago, I was in church. The service was coming to a close. The church I attend performs communion every Sunday. The pastor was about to lead a prayer before the ceremony. As is my custom, I bowed my head and tried to enter a frame of mind of quiet reverence. As I did so, I spoke the words, “I need a hat.” I did not need a hat. No one around me at the time would need to know that I needed a hat, even if I did. I did not speak loudly enough for them to hear even if I did need a hat and they needed to know. I was embarrassed with myself.

Since then, I have noticed myself doing this with considerable frequency. Little sentence fragments, just dropping out here and there, to no one in particular. I’ll round a corner and say, “He’ll never make it” with no subject of this grim realization in mind. I’ll put bread in the toaster and whisper, “That’s the spirit.”  Hearing the garage door opening may summon, “and the beat goes on” or “trouble in paradise.”

I don’t know what the full meaning of this phenomenon is. But I will say this: if this keeps up, I am going to make one strange old man.


6 Responses to “Unbidden Utterances”

  1. TYOTD Says:

    Top 3 posts of all time? I LOL’d so big time on this one.

  2. The Sage Says:

    Stream of consciousness. Everybody has it. I have that near-constant soundtrack coming up when I’m doing something that doesn’t require concentration. Songs bubble up that I haven’t thought of in years. Even songs I never liked.

    Aren’t all old people a little strange? But they’ve earned the right to be eccentric. You have a long ways to go before the anomalies of your mentality sink into the sea of forgetfullness and illusion.

  3. maureen Says:

    I feel like this could potentially add a lot of adventure to your life if you really embrace it, you know? Just really take “He’ll never make it” or “Trouble in Paradise” to heart, and see what happens. .

  4. david Says:

    i hope this isn’t true, but the megalomaniac in me says your utterances are about ME.

  5. mike Says:

    are any of these utterances profane? (it will help with my diagnosis.)

  6. Shena Says:

    I am laughing so hard that I am crying at my desk. I hope no one at work has noticed.

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