Standup Material Test


I have for many years held a secret ambition of attempting stand-up comedy.  I doubt that I would ever muster the moxy to attempt it, however, I do like to try to think about material sometimes. Call it a hobby. Let me know how you feel about the following.

1. The funny thing about twins you don’t know is that you can’t really call them twins. The best you can do is to say, “Hey, look at those guys. They are at least twins.”

2. I get annoyed by shows that are always telling you how difficult the cinematography of the show was to make. They are always saying things like, “This shot took twelve years to set up. The camera required for this only runs on kitten blood. In the history of the universe, what you are watching only happens once, and we were there.” I get it.

3.  I always liked math class for its honesty. It called homework what it was–problems. “Class, I’m assigning you twenty five problems tonight.” “Sorry, Timmy. I can’t come out to play. I have problems.”

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8 Responses to “Standup Material Test”

  1. Rustin Says:

    1. I don’t get it. (?)

    2. Pretty good.

    3. Hilarity. Love it.

  2. The Sage Says:

    More. I vant more. (And the kitten blood sounds pretty good, too.)

  3. getitgotitgoods Says:

    what’s your day job?

  4. hannah Says:

    fraternal twins maybe? i thought of a joke for a frat boy type comedian. here it goes:

    hi everyone, my name is john smith. thats my married name actually. before i got married i went by duuuuuuuude.

  5. toby Says:

    Nice one Hannah. Here is the explanation of the twins bit:

    If you don’t know a set of identical twins, then when you see them in public, you can’t really just call them twins. They could just be two of a set of triplets, quadruplets, etc.. Somehow I need to make that idea clearer or set it up better. For some reason, I just think that is SO funny. But I suppose part of being a comedian is using what works.

  6. mike Says:

    my candid reaction to your explanation: “ooooohhh. (pause). still not funny.” i like the math problems bit, though.

  7. toby Says:

    See, Mike, that’s the kind of response I need to hear.

  8. steve Says:

    the last ones pretty good! the middle one is a bit over the top with exaggeration – i bet if you added more onto it it would be more obviously ridiculous (if you know what i mean). the first ones and interesting idea, but it doesnt work as a joke yet. try putting the idea into a completely different joke. maybe try indirectly pointing the twin thing out (that u never know if theyre twins etc.)

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