The Strange World of Trouser Closures


I recently had the idea for a new way of closing trousers. Imagine that instead of a zipper or buttons in the fly of your trousers, you found something like a ziplock closure? This idea held much appeal to me for the following reasons:

1. I have never seen it before.

2. It avoids both the time consumption of buttons, and the interlocking metal teeth of a zipper.

3. I feel like we could wear plastic more.

I initiated a patent search using google patents. You know, like you do. I have not yet satisfactorily answered the question of whether or not my idea has been patented. It seems there are at least 20,000 patents for even the most obscure idea I can think of.

I did, however, uncover a couple of entertaining products. Here is a design for the person who is supremely worried about the barn door coming open. It actually incorporates a padlock. Unfortunately, sexual armor turned out to be a lot less fun than hoped. It might even be described as the opposite of fun.

Speaking of the barn door opening, what if you had a traditional zipper that was mounted upside down? The zipper would not be prone to slowly unzip if it had to go upward to do so. Do I smell a patent here?


9 Responses to “The Strange World of Trouser Closures”

  1. Leigh Ann Says:

    I am scared… You may be close to
    S-T-R-E-T-C-H pants… LOL

  2. jmac Says:

    no leakage

  3. david Says:

    i don’t think you can patent something just because you turn it upside down. sorry.

  4. katherine Says:

    -the comfortable alternative

  5. Leigh Ann Says:

    Q. does anyone here own a pair of “Unjeans”?
    (I do not :)…

  6. toby Says:

    Comfort…Just Wear Them…and Nothing Else!! Pockets? Just Add A Belt Pack & You’re Good To Go.

    Call them “Freedom Pants”, “Tights”, “Ankle Pants”, “Leggings”, “Pulse Pants” or anything that fits you…

    Plus my husband looks so hot in his UnJeans.

    I can not say enough great things about UnJeans. They have placed the joy back into wearing clothes…

    Real People – Real UnJeans

    WOW. That unjeans website DOES NOT STOP. Hilarious. Also take a close look at the third picture down. Somebody is “feeling more alive” all right.

  7. katherine Says:

    When I came across this website I thought 3 things:
    1) Wow-I must buy Toby a pair
    2) No, he probably already owns one.
    3) Is he the person behind this website!?


  8. The Sage Says:

    This is really new, eh? In the Middle Ages men wore tights. Do you honestly think these are more comfortable than jeans? Do the guys put them on and suddenly their voices go falsetto?
    I knew the baggy clothes fad would end some day; but will it come to this? What, no cuffs?

  9. RSM Says:

    Glad you enjoyed the UnJeans website. Yes, I know UnJeans are more comfortable than jeans. No worries about a guy’s voice going falsetto. For guys, UnJeans give you the support you want and the freedom you need.

    Leggings are perfect casual wear for women AND men. Having worn leggings for years, I’m aware of people’s comments both negative and very positive. If more people, women and men, wear leggings then it will just be another apparel choice. At one time denim jeans were worn only by miners digging for gold. Now they are everywhere and people don’t ask if the jeans wearer has struck gold.

    When someone decides to wear leggings, I advise them to choose a well made pair – not with cotton fibers that bag out over time but high tech fibers with at least 10% Lycra content, that retain their shape. Go for the comfort and support. Leggings that go to the ankle look better than capri style that chop the leg. Plus the full length leggings support you from your ankle to your waist and give you an energetic lift.

    I describe UnJeans as the “clothes of the future” for both men and women. My prediction for the future, with the development of wearable electronics and “smart” clothing, the need for form-fitting clothing will be necessary because the predicted power source to run these wearable electronics will be one’s own body heat. This isn’t that far in the future. A German multi-national company, Infineon, is working on what they call a “Thermogenerator” to do just that – generate an electrical current from a device powered by human body heat.

    Until that day arrives enjoy the fit, feel and comfort of UnJeans. Men and women across the United States and now England and Australia are enjoying UnJeans, why not you?

    P.S. to Katherine – I really like your Diplomat Resort lamp photo on your site.

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